The Superiority of Elephant Jerry Over The Puny Human Jack

Written by LunaLali

Jack sped down the freeway. He had exactly 30 seconds left before the bridge closed. If he didn’t make this, the dozens of elephants chasing behind him would tear him to shreds. Sparing a moment to glance in the rearview mirror, he curled his upper lip in distaste. The elephants’ bulging eyes, their frothing mouths, and the machine guns that had replaced their ivory tusks only served to prove to Jack that he had made the right decision when he blew up their State Bank. Semi-robotic sentient purple elephants should not be allowed to live in this world!

His 30 seconds were up. Jack slammed on the brakes, threw his car perpendicular to the gap, and in moments both he and the automobile were airborne. The herd lifted their trunks in anger, hooting “Oooh!” at the criminal about to make his great escape. Jack threw his head back in triumphant laughter. Nothing could stop him now. To hell with those damned elephants, those freaks of nature borne from human greed. To hell with the government too timid to stand against a clan of tyrannical elephants. To hell with control! It was time to let loose! It was time to be free!

Off to the right and surrounded by blithering idiots stood Jerry. He was the only elephant not entirely purple. Instead, his coat had dulled to somewhere more indigo after the contagion of intelligence was released. He was also one of the few elephants to have been born after the Overtaking of Elephants Against Humans. His generation would be the one to eradicate the human species and settle elephants as top of the food chain. Two-leggers like Jack, that loved to cause chaos and disruption, needed to be put down. Effective immediately.

A flash of brilliance gleamed in the indigo elephant’s eyes, and with dexterity never before seen in a creature that size, Jerry bowed his head and took aim. His robotic tusk honed in and fired a single shot.

The sound reached Jack first. The acoustics of the bridge allowed him to hear death before it claimed him. Half in disbelief, Jack almost dismissed it; no way would they fire at him. Elephants may have guns for tusks now, but no way can they shoot. Jack was wrong. Within seconds, the bullet tore through Jack’s heart and exploded out the other side, dragging with it bits of flesh and splattering blood.

Besides, it was best that Jack died then. Regardless of his cinematics, Jack had not successfully made the jump over the gapped bridge. Both Jack and his car plopped into the river, sinking, taking with them humanity’s one last, insane hope.

Jerry stood proudly. The other elephants bowed their trunks at his glory. He decided to give his arch nemesis one last moment of recognition. “I’m so sorry, Jack.”


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